Part II
Chapter 8 continued...
I didn’t know how to handle my Soul feeling the ripping apart of itself inside of my heart; and the hole was MASSIVE! I could hear myself screaming inside but couldn’t vocalize it outward other than to cry and ask redundant questions. Some time after, I stepped into forgiveness because that’s something I knew would help the healing of my Soul… but I was initially just going through the motions. I still had to deal with the actual forgiveness parts through the many (and quite necessary) stages of grief for the sudden and traumatic loss of an adult child.
This was about survival in that now time.
I made it a mission to find the truth and the more I dug, the more blocks I got and the angrier I became. It did get to a point that I needed to stop because I would wind up completely going off the edge of some inner cliff that I would never be able to come back from… and I was starting to think that was ok. The suicide demons within (and what also seemed like without) were very real!
I knew it was time to get myself focused on my work again. I knew this would help me. I had to process this most heartbreaking pain and trauma or I wouldn’t be able to continue living, at all. For me, it was either sink or swim.
In all honesty, God or my Soul must have thrown me a life vest so I could float awhile because I was starting to accept that I was going under and I was becoming more and more ok with that. Nobody around me knew this or how bad it actually was because I sensed when other people didn’t have what I needed to feel comforted when I needed them the most. As I’ve often said, ‘you can not give that which you do not have’.
Instead, it felt like I was bothering them or that I was somehow a burden because I would start crying when James' name would come up, or I would tear up when I talked about him… I could literally hear in their thoughts, “oh, here she goes again, the ‘poor me…” or “maybe she should just stop talking about him…” or “oh the victim card again…” something to that effect. I could feel that they thought I was attention seeking; and that was the farthest thing from the truth.
I actually wanted help. I needed comfort and love. The very same kind of love and support I was giving to others so freely and unconditionally. I had to learn this really hard lesson, more than I’d like to admit.
Other people just wanted me to go back to being who I was… or they expected me to just forget it and move on the way they expected me to, or the way it made them feel comfortable. But that was utterly impossible; because when your child dies, you forever lose a piece of yourself too and you’ll just never be the same again.
Was I actually receiving those thoughts exactly as projected by others? Don’t know. What I felt was real to me and that’s HOW I FELT, physically seeing their eyes rolling slightly with micro facial expressions that betrayed them unbeknownst to them; and all the accompanying body language that tries to shut you down when something uncomfortable typically comes up. So yea, the energetic signals they couldn’t help but to send out by way of their uncontrolled minds and not knowing how to use their telepathic abilities showed me how little actual support I had in my old family and friends circles.
It felt like I was cast into a role of needing to be a strong pillar for my other children and myself too, or at the very least, a living example. I see now that I cast myself into that role because I already had been living the example by walking my talk of spiritual integrity and authenticity. I actively practiced what I preached, so I needed to be in that role I suppose, or I wouldn’t have been able to heal the way I needed and also to recognize that my healing wasn’t supposed to look the way someone else thought it should.
I also refused to share my deepest feelings with anyone who was only there so they could say they were there and not really be there for ME… does that make sense? These are the same people who are NEVER really present for you when you need them the most. I had to be brave and reach out to people during that time and I did.
It didn’t take too long for people to begin fading away or only checking in very occasionally. Some left my life for good and that’s quite ok. One thing I have little patience for is fakeness! Some would reach out and I just wasn’t able to share that part of me, but most started fading away not really understanding what I was going through, how could they?
I had some multidimensional and spiritual healing experiences that greatly helped heal me. I’ve written in much greater detail about those events in previous articles.
When I started uploading videos to my channel and saw that incredible growth during my first year, it felt like the more I began to find my voice and incorporate some teachings, guidance and insights authentically (even with all my filters, pain, raw traumas, flaws and imperfections) the more growth I saw. It felt like I was doing something important again… at least, from my little corner of the world.
My lifejacket turned out to be the community and support system I was building as God expressed through me as my personal Spirit and Soul.
It was born out of necessity and was heavily tested when I again, would need my community and Soul tribe IRL between the Spring Equinox and the Summer Solstice 2021 when I was homeless for 4 months (getting evicted during the worldwide plandemic and shutdown). It would have been 5 months but my mother let me stay with her during the entire month of February and I was so grateful I didn’t have to freeze in a tent when not couch surfing with my community in various states across the country. I'm so grateful for the entire experience… even the super scary parts, which were abundant.
I chose to travel across the county to Mount Shasta to more properly honor my son in a way that felt more spiritual and connected to his Soul; rather than taking up temporary residence at a shelter and more importantly, to overwrite the funeral service built on lies for those who made those decisions about his death - because it made them feel more comfortable. So I took the word homeless out of my vocabulary, which then enabled personal empowerment over my healing process.
It was 3 years after James died and this house-hopping, car and tent living experience provided more healing than I ever would have had just staying local. I didn’t even think I would be returning but that’s another story as well. I gave up, gifted, donated or sold just about everything I owned when I went on this sojourn across this country.
I also handed out copies of my first book and offered gifts to anyone that hosted me. These were spiritual tools and items I had collected throughout my life. I kept a basket in my car and offered these treasures along the way. It was super healing in ways I could not have expected.
This purge process really hurt, especially my beautiful library of spiritual books I spent my entire adult life building. Literally everything I spent my entire life building I was then, giving away… and I really don’t regret it!
I suppose I'm just remembering certain things one last time so it can be released for good... like when people let me down. I suppose they just didn’t know what I didn’t communicate clearly enough; or they weren’t supposed to know how to handle my pain… it was mine after all. You live and you learn, right?! One thing I AM sure about, and have taught my children to live by as well, is the Golden Rule. That was all I was really hoping for… and my expectations weren’t set high enough because people still did what they did and I let them. Oh well! Lessons learned the hard way I suppose.
My wall was already up and in self-protection mode. I wasn’t about to have people start offering their pity if they knew how bad I was hurting. If they really wanted to know, they would have sat me down and asked or dug a little deeper. Most of my family doesn’t do that. They stick to surface level topics (‘everything’s ok, you're ok, right? Good. How ‘bout dem Phills?’ ) and can’t seem to have those fascinating and deep meaningful conversations.
There’s a few people in my family who are free thinkers and can have those very interesting and deep, meaningful conversations. Just a handful…and I rarely get to converse with them but OH what joy when I do.
I find it hilarious that most people in my family don't even ask me, about ME! One would think that if you really wanted to know how I was doing, than you might send a message or reach out, right? tap tap... is this thing on here? LOL (That's another story I probably won't even need to tell.)
Sometimes surface attention only while interacting is required but the rivers run deep in truth... and Truth is why I AM here and on a mission.
Perhaps I’m being a little harsh or… perhaps just blunt. The truth can and often does hurt when you don't see it coming. And sometimes you need the truth so you can wipe that mirror down and take a very good, long, hard, clean and fresh look at yourself.
I did. And I still do, everyday!
I wouldn’t have found what I needed within myself, for both healing and empowerment, if this all didn’t happen exactly how it unfolded. You see, you absolutely can alchemize the bad stuff inside you, into the good stuff. You don’t have to hang on to the bad stuff for your entire life. NO!
And you CERTAINLY don’t have to hold onto stuff that doesn’t belong to you, including ‘mind programs’ forced onto you simply from your upbringing and social constructs. I did an entire podcast about that topic when I learned to let the stuff of other people go (especially projected expectations)! It’s available for free in my Ascension Maps work in one of the later Sacred Spaces.
What Saved Me and My Work
The uploads for my YouTube channel began in February of 2019 and a year later, we all know what happened that brought the world to a screeching halt. We won't get into any of that now, except to say that when I was talking about something (I guess I wasn’t supposed to say at that time)... when I SPOKE TRUTH - we all know (now) how that works out for the little channels - I got slammed down real fast.
The censorship was real. My growth stopped immediately, about a year after uploading my first video.
I was shadow banned across social media, sometimes attacked or raided by armies of bots when I would host a live show; I got de-platformed, was unable to monetize, content was pulled for saying the truth about what was really going on… EVEN SOME OF MY EARLIER SLAM POETRY WAS TAKEN DOWN because they mention some inconvenient truths about the poisons and metals in vaccinations and pedophiles hurting our children and the twisting of truths into fear propaganda etc. - which we are all FINALLY now learning (hopefully) is absolutely TRUE!!!
What’s that they say about when you’re right over the target? Yea, true story...
Since geopolitics wasn’t really my genre for teaching, I chose to self censor my topics and keep doing the spiritual work. I continued to build my work, stay on mission and I helped some other YouTubers grow their channels and collab'ed with spiritual tribe on certain projects I was guided to create and host.
However, once you’re on that list, it’s really challenging to dance around anything truthful that’s not supposed to be out in the public domain and it’s discouraging to keep trying to build when you're literally sitting in frozen algorithms. Some of my content from years ago kept getting hit whenever YouTube did an algorithm checkup and sweep on my channel. It was crazy!
I decided to find a platform to host the banned videos from YouTube and Rumble was the only one I found that let me keep this content up without taking it down. So I decided to let Rumble host my spiritual podcast as well. BTW, if you hear this as a video and it still gets censored, I'll also upload it to my Rumble Channel, Lynda Light
The fourth cycle of my podcast is available on my Patreon right now and all members (including FREE members) always get advanced access to new episodes as they drop!
Speaking of Patreon, when I did a social media and tech detox spring 2023 - I also decided to go into a semi-retirement of sorts. I had enough with fake friendships and betrayals from people that only cared about using me to help build their channel, and making money. (Most spiritual people I worked with were not like this but they say it only takes one rotten apple to ruin the entire bunch.) So, I decided to clean house (again) and set all my Patrons free.
Not only was I tired of the phony friends who wanted my viewership so they could gain their own followers and financial supporters, but I was going to walk my talk and just take money out of the equation completely. I framed it so that I was choosing not to do any work over there (on Patreon) that required commitments. But it was much deeper than just a pull back on work commitments.
Once I made that decision it felt great, even though I was losing money - because I was consciously choosing it.
So why else would I choose to cut off incoming money?
That’s another deeper story which involves cutting all addictions and toxicity from my life… including chasing money! It was a deeper program that I didn’t even realize was running way down below. I had to actively purge it and that included letting some income go, for that time period. There’s a LOT more to it but perhaps another story for another time (or not at all;).
My hiatus was more of a self-sacrificing survival mode so I could become the best version of myself possible. And that also meant as little interaction with others that hurt me as possible. I had to disentangle my energy field from everyone else once it had been polluted. (I have a Pisces moon if that tells you anything.)
I had to go ALL IN and this included purging and giving up anything that I perceived to need; including weed that really helped alleviate my intense chronic pain. Other forms of addictions or bad habits included social media, sugar, smokes, alcohol, chasing money, etc. Some ‘addictions’ I kicked years ago and some were not actually addictions but things I would partake in more socially, like drinking alcohol.
My purge gave me the ability to see it's ok to not be perfect but it’s also VERY ok to strive to be the best YOU you can be. Everything in moderation is a great lesson to live by, so long as you’re not addicted to anything or anyone. * [It’s not my intention to trigger you if you’re still addicted to something. I do sincerely hope you can find the inspiration and the strength to work through your own personal purges now. If I can do it, so can YOU!]
Over that last few years and during my hiatus, purge and purification process, I’ve grown into someone I actually love. I AM comfortable in my own skin and I respect myself much more than I ever did. I AM a person of great integrity, as I have always been. I stand on my word and I’ve walked my talk as long as I can remember. I’ve always consciously tried to be this version of myself but I would fail through self-sabotage and lack of self-respect for not being perfect, constantly. I also had a huge fear of success, that was a big one playing in the background.
I have certain gifts and abilities, some of which allow me to sense and speak truth (rather bluntly but I make no apologies for that anymore) and I have developed wisdom from knowledge and experiences in the multidimensional and galactic realms. Some experiences come through meditations, some in dreamtime, some while sungazing or bathing, some while in nature, a lot while creating and writing, some in the shower or even some while driving or just being physically alone.
Just because I have these gifts available, doesn’t mean I always get it right. We’re still in a world condition that pulses at a frequency that was hijacked, creating a false illusion through the grid networks. This false illusion creates a reality based on inversions. It’s DISTORTED AND PERVERTED (but that’s another story you’ll start hearing more about from many others now). It’s a collective delusion that many are finally waking from, which gives us all hope!
We were hijacked a long time ago. However, the Procession of The Equinoxes allows for a reset… this time, without a total destruction of our planet by Divine Decree. We are now in the very beginning season of the Satya Yuga or the Krita Yuga: also known as The Golden Age.
Why haven’t we experienced the Event and SHIFT yet? Simple. Those in power don’t want to let go and will fight until the end. The physical war is actually over a stargate still pulsing out inverted frequencies on the energy grids; a false frequency that created a slave planet through illusions and inversions; and perverted it in every way you can imagine… and worse!
Fear NOT! The stargates will all pulse correctly again and the entire planet will experience the SHIFT OF THE AGES… and LIVE through it! Not everyone incarnated now will, obviously.
The truth of the Golden Ticket doesn’t just win one person an endless supply of sugar, sweets and chocolate… but it’s for EVERYONE incarnated and alive when the grids are reversed, flipped and then pulse the correct frequency!
All the bodhisattvas have incarnated for this one moment and they so deserve this. Call it a pole shift. Call it ET assistance. Call it The Event. Call it the Procession of the Equinoxes. Call it Divine Intervention… matters not at this point because… it’s NIGH and it’s inevitable! Nothing can stop it now…
Just remember to play well in the Grand Sandbox together, stop the name-calling and self righteousness, thinking your way is the only way. EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET has been lied to and your religion is no exception. So it would greatly benefit you to start with the fact that you’ve been deceived too!
If Jesus the son of God, achieved the Christ body (Christ IS light) or Ascension/Rainbow body, and preached to us that we ‘are all sons and daughters of God’ and we could do what he did ‘and even greater miracles in those days’ (oops, they forgot to edit that from the current Bible… yea, so there’s that…); then ask yourself, (not someone else) sincerely ask yourself, (and they don’t want you to do this, so then you absolutely MUST) What would Jesus do right now?
I can tell you from my experience, he would meditate quietly away from the chaos and focus on his connection to God through his heart center. It’s really about the energetics here, the realms and worlds you can’t see with your physical eyes… but you will.
Perhaps consider the second coming of Christ is the Christ in you and me - When you know, you know. We are Christ. We are the Earth Grids. We are Love. We are Light. We are One and we are vindicated in Truth.
It’s our time now and we’ve waited long enough! The daughters of the Sun have been healed and are rising now. I sincerely hope you find your truth because these are the most challenging times for so many.
You will very soon be measuring these times as BEFORE and AFTER… for no-thing and no-being will ever be the same once the shift happens. Focus on the energy of the higher frequencies and heaven on earth already within you. The secret door IS within your heart.
Keep your focus on your inner self and just go through the motions that you must on the outside; while you quietly increase your divine frequencies on the inside. Purge what you need now, purify yourselves and withdraw your energy from toxic situations and people, and humble yourselves for your greatest and most accelerated growth ever possible.
Stay centered and meditate twice as much as you pray. Remember, prayer is talking to God and meditation is listening - you’ve got one mouth and two ears. Use your tools well and please, pretty please with a cherry on top… please stop the name calling. It’s beneath you now.
May Christ return to Earth now! May Peace prevail on our planet now!
May all beings live in Peace and the Light of our One True Divine Source of ALL!
I love you all! I AM Lynda Light
